I have a relative, she is a mom of two. I feel that being a mother is the biggest project of her life.
Full day she keeps herself so much occupied with her kids. Her day entirely revolves around her kids, she wakes up at a time that suits her kids and sleeps at a time that suits them. The activities of her day are planned totally around her kids, feeding her kids on time, teaching them discipline, helping them in their school work, making them excel in school, enabling them to learn as many skills as possible, be their bodyguard wherever they go, and the list is long.
Even when her kids are not around, she is busy planning for them. Organising their wardrobes, scheduling their day and planning their meals.
She is too much into her kids, that she even forgets herself. Many times she even forgets to comb her hair, to eat her meals on time and pay attention to her body requirements.
Being a mother of two myself, I can fully relate to her, but I don’t think that to be a mother, you have to completely ignore your existence. You were a woman before being a mother and you had your own identity. You wanted to exist in this world because of your own interest in living. In the pursuit of making others (esp. your kids) happy, why ignore yourself completely?
Same applies to the fathers as well, when the target of your life becomes, giving best education, best standard of living and best facilities to your kids, you forget that you also exist in their life.
If something is of the utmost importance in your kids life, then that is ‘YOU’, their parents. They need their parents, more than anything else. You took the responsibility to bring them in this world to make your world beautiful and now your focus entirely shifted from you to them.
Enjoy life with them, by being good to yourself first. Nurture yourself, spend some time on yourself, have some passion, learn something new everyday and add value to your identity. When you are happy, you spread the happiness around.
Parenting has to work both sides. Be a good parent to yourself.
Parent your kids, after you parent yourself.